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The Poems of Jonathan Swift, Volume Two - Jonathan Swift

He lived simply, loved his walks and craved the company of fellow poetical wits as they craved his company in return. With his pal Dr. Sheridan, for one, Jonathan Swift delighted in the 18th century equivalent of a rap off – going back and forth in dueling verse repartee. This second volume is a cornucopia of biting, iconoclastic humor and earnest criticism of injustice. Poems herein concerning Wood’s Halfpence are the companion to his famous Drapier’s Letters and trumpet his achievement in stirring up sufficient outcry to spare Ireland from damaging monetary debasement. He knew what real money was: “For in all the leases that ever we hold We must pay our rent in good silver and gold, And not in brass tokens of such a base mould.” And he didn’t think much of monetary debasement’s evil twin, fractional reserve banking, either: “We want our money on the nail The Banker’s ruin’d if he pays”. There’s a healthy smattering here of bums and urination references too – just so you know these are genuine Swift poems -- and all manner of other topics too. In Death and Daphne, written for a favorite grisette, we learn of Death’s sagging libido due to the skinniness of his human bride. And the last poem excoriating Sheridan for comparing base women to noble clouds is a heavenly coup de grâce for any challenger who would dare to top his politically incorrect and thunderous wit:
Some critic may object, perhaps,
That clouds are blamed for giving claps;
But what, alas! are claps ethereal,
Compared for mischief to venereal?
- Summary by Arthur Krolman


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Cadenus and VanessaTo LoveA Rebus by Vanessa and AnswerStella's BirthdayTo Stella the TranscriberTo Stella While SickStella's BirthdayStella at Wood ParkA New Year's Gift for Bec and Dingley and BrentStella's BirthdayA Receipt to Restore Stella's YouthStella's Birthday etc.Death and DaphneDaphnePethox the GreatOn a PenOn GoldOn the PosteriorsOn a HornOn a CorkscrewThe Gulf of All Human PossessionsLouisa to StrephonA Maypole and On Moon, Circle, InkOn the Five SensesFontinella to FlorindaOn Echo, Glass, Time, Gallows, Vowels, Snow, Cannon, Dice, CandleTo Lady Cartaret, Answer etc.On Cutting Down the ThornDean Swift at Sir Arthur Acheson'sOn a Very Old Glass at Market Hill etc.My Lady's LamentationA Pastoral DialogueThe Grand Question DebatedDrapier's HillThe Dean's ReasonsThe Revolution at Market HillRobin and HarryA Panegyric on the DeanTwelve ArticlesCrowe's Address to Her MajestyJack Frenchman's LamentationThe Garden Plot and Sid Hamet's RodThe Famous Speech-MakerParody on the Recorder's SpeechBalladAtlas Minister of State and Harley StabbedAn Excellent New SongThe Windsor ProphecyCorinna, a BalladThe Fable of MidasToland's Invitation to DismalPeace and DunkirkImitation of Horace, Epist. I, viiThe Author upon HimselfThe FagotImitation of Horace, Sat.VI, iiHorace paraphrased, Odes II, iDennis' Invitation to SteeleIn SicknessThe Fable of the BitchesTo the Earl of Oxford in the TowerOn the Church's Danger and On High ChurchThe Story of PhaethonA Tale of a NettleA Satirical ElegyParody on Pratt's SpeechAn Excellent New SongThe Run upon the BankersUpon the Horrid PlotQuibbling Elegy on Judge BoatVerses on Whitshed's MottoPrometheusVerses on the Order of the Bath and Epigram on Wood's Brass MoneyA SimileWood an InsectWood the IronmongerWood's PetitionA New Song on Wood's HalfpenceA Serious PoemAn Excellent New SongVerses on the Judge Who Condemned the Drapier's PrinterHorace paraphrased, Odes I, xivVerses on St. Patrick's WellOn Reading Dr. Young's SatireThe Dog and ThiefMad Mullinix and TimothyTim and the FablesTom and DickDick, a MaggotClad All in BrownDick's VarietyTraulus, Part ITraulus, Part IIA Fable of the LionOn the Irish BishopsHorace, Odes Iv, ixOn Walpole and PulteneyBrother ProtestantsBettesworth's Exultation and Epigram to Sergeant KiteThe Yahoo's OverthrowOn Cashel and Bettesworth, Irish Club, Noisy TomOn Dr. Rundle and EpigramThe Legion ClubOn Printer's to Newgate, Libel Vindication, Apology, Ay and No, Ballad, Wicked LibelEpigrams against CarthyPoetical Epistle to SheridanThe UpstartWaterford and BlenheimAn Excellent new Song on the Grand JuryThe Archbishop of DublinTo the CitizensPunch's Petition and EpigramsGeorge Rochfort's VersesA Left-Handed Letter and RepliesTo the Dean of St. Patrick's and RepliesMr. Thomas Sheridan and RepliesOn Dr. Sheridan's Circular VersesOn Dan Jackson's Picture and RepliesThe PardonThe Last Speech and Dying Words of Daniel JacksonTo the Rev. Daniel JacksonSheridan to Swift and ReplyMary the Cook Maid's LetterA Portrait from the LifeOn Stealing a Crown when the Dean was asleepPrologue and Epilogue to a PlayThe SongA New Year's Gift for the Dean of St. Patrick'sTo Quilca, Country Life and A Faithful InventoryPalinodiaLetter to the Dean and Invitation to DinnerOn the Five Ladies and RepliesBallad on Ballyspellin and ReplyAn Epistle to Two Friends etc.A True and Faithful InventoryA New Simile for the Ladies and Answer
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